Get a Brain, Morans

So I was perusing Facebook, one of my few late-night hobbies, when I saw someone post something like, "Drunk on the strip. smh."

SMH stands for "So Much Hate", something Twitter users came up with to use when they felt they were being disrespected or given a raw deal somehow. A more appropriate use of SMH would have been, " Now everyone fucking uses it as a generic self-stamp of approval on any Twitter or Facebook post, probably as a way to let everyone know that they're savvy and hip when it comes to the social media. It's fucking ridiculous. Stop it. Also stop using LOL. It's so 1997 to still be using something that is basically a lie 99% of the time it's used.

Also, one more word on Twitter. When I first signed up, I added every athlete and celebrity I could think of. I followed hundreds of them, many of the college athletes, because I never went away to school and I thought it might be interesting to see what some of them had to say about the college experience. What I found was not only did they not have anything interesting to say, it also seemed that college was having absolutely zero educational effect on any of them. Constant misspelled words, everyone talked like they were a junkie or gangster, and nothing ever made any goddamn sense. So now my Twitter feed is comprised of politicians and sports writers, and other educated, interesting people.

I really wish there was someone out there who could write a piece of software that didn't allow gibberish and nonsensical Twitter/Facebook posts, and actually force users to write complete thoughts. I also wish the person was an asshole like me, because if you decided to compose some nonsense to share with the masses, the prompt would surely say, "Your post doesn't make any fucking sense. Please re-write it so people can understand what the hell you're saying. And if you put SMH at the end, we will immediately cancel you goddamn account."

So what everyone kinda knew coming is finally here. Jim Tressel is out as the head football coach at The Ohio State University. What started as some players getting tattoos for autographs has turned into allegations that Tressel lied to the NCAA, resulting in the resignation of one of the most successful coaches at Ohio State, if not college football history. But there's a story here that the mainstream media won't tell you, a story that everyone wants to ignore because it makes the world go around, and it doesn't just grow on trees. Money. I've learned in the last few years when there's a scandal or conspiracy, you can always learn quite a bit about the conspirateurs by simply following the money. And there's a shitload of money to be followed here.

College football players come to school on an athletic scholarship, granting them free tuition, room and board, money for books and lab fees, medical insurance, parking passes, and sometimes a per diem. None of the athletes can hold full-time jobs, some can't have any type of job, and if they are allowed to hold a job, it's got to be approved by the athletic department. However, the NCAA allows a stipend to be paid to players. You know, spending money for going to the movies, eating out, taking cheerleaders on dates, all of the things that college athletes do away from school. The limit for the stipend (I believe, I don't know the ACTUAL number, and I'm not reading the entire NCAA rule book to find out) is somewhere around 12,000 per year, but rarely do student-athletes get much more than that. The Kansas University Basketball program (Rock Chalk Jayhawk), one of the top programs in the nation, gives their basketball players a little over $7,000.00 a year, and there are usually only 12-18 players on scholarship at any given time. Imagine the trickle-down effect when it comes to the football program, where you have 85 scholarship athletes. The point here is that regardless of how much the scholarship pays for, athletes really have no way of earning any type of significant spending money. If they want to live off-campus in a pimped out co-ed bachelor pad, or buy a whip to ride dirty or to travel on the weekends, they're at a huge financial disadvantage to do so. Many athletes come from inner-city areas, so they can't call home to pops to get another deposit into the checking account like other college students can.

The NCAA and its athletic programs bring in around $6,000,000,000.00 every year. That's SIX BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS. The top 5 programs are Texas, Ohio State, Florida, Michigan and Wisconsin, and they all have MASSIVE athletic programs, and Football drives the financial bus at these institutions. Ticket sales, merchandise, concession sales, parking fees, TV contracts, and clothing endorsements (You didn't think Texas pays Nike for those uniforms, did you? It's the other way around!) all contribute to the athletic budget, and those funds are used to fund Title IX sports and other bullshit sports that earn absolutely no revenue. It's why the big boys rarely play more than four or five road games, because playing at home is much more lucrative. With all of this revenue, you'd think that the NCAA would carve out a little piece of the pie for the folks most responsible for the profits, the players. DO they? Nope! Since it's always been this way, people can't seem to fathom the idea of paying student-athletes. Until you start giving examples of how the NCAA has ruled against violators of it's ridiculously arcane rules.

AJ Green sold his game-worn jersey to someone. The same jersey he sees when he walks to classes at the University of Georgia, worn by his classmates. The same jersey on sale in the pro shop at Sanford Stadium. The same jersey available for purchase online through the University or Nike.com. So it's okay for the NCAA, the University of Georgia, and Nike to all profit from the success of AJ Green, but it's not okay for AJ Green to profit from the success of AJ Green? Nope! Four-game suspension for AJ, because not only did he sell his jersey, but because he sold it to someone the NCAA deemed an "agent".

Dez Bryant met with former Florida State and Dallas Cowboy star Deion Sanders. When asked by the NCAA about the meeting, Bryant lied, primarily because he didn't know what kind of trouble he would get in. The NCAA later found out that the meeting DID take place, and since it's somehow against the rules for collegiate athletes to meet with former professional athletes, the NCAA suspended Bryant for the entire 2009 season.

And the most recent story, concerning my beloved Ohio State Buckeyes. Some players traded some signed merchandise for some tattoos and spending money. Big fucking deal. But the worst part about it is that Coach Tress found out, and lied about it. He was trying to protect his players, but the almight NCAA was pissed that it had been lied to, and everyone expects them to issue severe sanctions against Ohio State. Tattoos and spending money, for some used gloves, pants, and little gold trinkets. That's it.

The kicker about the Ohio State story is that this surfaced just a couple of weeks before the Buckeyes were to play Arkansas in the Allstate Sugar Bowl, a nationally televised monster of an event. The NCAA, seeing that their golden goose might be in a bit of trouble, decided to act quickly. They suspended the players, then reinstated them, and suspended them for the first five games of 2011. Confused? I was too, until I realized that there was a lot at stake if Ohio State's best 3 players and a couple of other guys weren't going to be playing. Ratings would have plummeted, meaning ad revenue for the networks would have dropped, meaning the final check to the NCAA would have been much less that it could have been if the players had played. So they played, and it was a fantastic game, and everyone got a very nice payday. Now we're in 2011, and since the checks have cleared, the NCAA has went to work on the Ohio State Football program. Players are suspended. The coach has been terminated. And now an entire athletid program, one responsible for thousands of jobs, one responsible for the educations of hundred of student athletes, one responsible for a half a billion dollars in Ohio's economy, is a state of severe flux. They'll be fine, it's Ohio State.

Players sold some stuff for a bit of cash and some tattoos. BIG FUCKING DEAL.

Another note: To those who have been following the story will notice something here. They've been reporting on this since December, and really nothing new has come to light. The allegations are still the same, except the ones dealing with Tressel. It's the same story, rehashed, over and over and over and over again, because the news media knows that eyes like to look upon a scandal, and especially a scandal concerning the biggest athletic program in the country. A story that started because of a few "anonymous" sources, a story really only about a couple of athletes needing some cash, a story that probably happens in 50 or 60 programs around the country every day, sometimes including even WORSE NCAA transgressions, has got so much airplay because, just like when they're playing football, Ohio State attacts eyes. And the media will keep this playing on and on and on, until everyone's so sick of it, then they'll play it some more. It's good to be king. But the bigger they are, the harder they fall. Ohio State has fallen, but they'll be back.

A story that got a coach fired, a bunch of kids in trouble, and anonymous sources their 15 minutes of fame all could have been avoided. That is, of course if the NCAA finally realized that what they're doing these days by reaping in billions of dollars in revenue and not sharing any of it with the athletes that make it all possible, is really just a form of modern day slavery, and started to share the wealth with those that probably need it the most. Unfortuantely, the rich get richer. And until the NCAA and these big athletic programs revisit the stipend policy at these schools, this will continue happening. Kids will break rules to have some extra cash. Anonymous pussy cowards will dial up their local Yahoo.com or Deadspin or other half-assed mediocre sports blog to report something they saw. And coaches who are trying to protect their players from everything from concussions to boosters to failing a class will be terminated. The state of college football is crumbling. This is one way it can be saved. Pay these damn kids.

Explanation and Invitation.

So I've always been pretty drama free when it comes to the Social Media/Online Profile type of things, but recently I was blindsighted by my boss, due to the very drama I had successfully avoided since MySpace blew up about 8 years ago.

Apparently, someone from work decided to take some of my harmless comments from my Facebook to my boss. It put him in a rather awkward position because how are you supposed to advise someone about their personal online profile? It turned into an "advice" session where he really just wanted me to be careful for fear that my Facebook might "affect my career down the road".

I work in the public sector, for the government, so I have to put on a clown cap everyday and smile while the public consistantly treats me like a piece of shit. The only reason I was able to marry recently is because my wife is exactly like me. When we get home at the end of a long day of smiling and getting treated like a fucking second-class citizen because someone didn't get their way, or someone's busy politicking their way to the top of their department, we like to simple take off the clown hat, and decompress. Sometimes we get home and talk for hours. Other times, we go to separate rooms for hours. But we're good at dealing with it, and we're better at it now that we have each other.

So recently, I deleted my old Facebook profile, and made a new one. Mainly because I started putting people into groups, but it got FAR too tedious trying to put people into little groups, and there was quite a bit of riff-raff on my friends list anyway, so I figured I'd just make a new account and sort folks as they added me. Everyone who I work with that I don't have a strong personal relationship with will be put into a group where they really don't get to see a whole lot. I'm incredibly outspoken to a fault, and it's finally come back to bite me. Maybe I'm too trusting in folks, or too confident that everyone will get my superior sense of humor and charm. Apparently I was wrong.

The person who sent my recent comments, actually it was one just one comment to my boss, was obviously quick to rush to judgement about my character, as they told him in an email that I was "losing it." They also chose to do this anonymously, which is the part that bothers me the most. Not because I want to know who did it, but because it perpetuates the culture we're living in where any anonymous source can say anything about anyone, whether it's true or not, and get someone into trouble. I hope this person finds out the measures I've had to take to protect my private life from people I work with. I feel bad that I've had to block out many people I really like at work because one person decided to be the Facebook police, and run and try to make a big stink out of absolutely nothing. For those who ended up on the blocked list, I'm sorry. But I can't take any chances with my job, and I refuse to constantly censor myself in my PERSONAL life.

I have to take enough bullshit as it is from being treated like shit at my job by the very people I'm there to serve. That, I really can't control. I'm not taking any in my personal life. Simple as that. So for those who are realizing that you're not going to get to see my funny little updates, my rants about politics and sports, or goofy pictures of my cats, please add this blog to your favorites and visit often. Looks like I'll be posting here more often.

Talent (self) Evaluation

I had a 30 second, in passing, informal discussion with two of my coworkers today about the talents that some people are blessed with. It got me to thinking about how diverse humanity is as a whole, and how different every one of us are. Some people are blessed with incredible athleticism, others are blessed with amazing good looks, and some are blessed with the gift of music. There are so many possible combinations, it's really a testament to how different we all are.

However, with these gifts come inefficiencies and weaknesses. I think that while it's important to recognize and possibly capitalize on one's talents, it's just as important to realize when you're not gifted in certain areas and stay away from those areas.

I do a few things well. The top three things I believe I'm above average at are as follows:

1. Communication, all forms. Written/Oral/Dirty Looks/Stink Eye/Morse Code
2. Ping Pong (Wanna play? Pack a damn lunch, it'll be a long day for you.)
3. Betting College Football. I win more than I lose, which is more than probably 85% of the betting public can say.

This blog post is brought on by a bit of frustration, but also it serves as a public service announcement for those of who who feel the need to convey your faux prowess at pretty much anything, just to be the center of fucking attention. It's annoying, pathetic, and worst of all, self destructive.

For instance, if you're really not adept at interacting with people with small talk in the workplace, just keep it short and professional, and work on cultivating relationships that actually matter. I'd never blatantly tell someone, "Hey, you're really shitty at talking with people", just because someone sucks at communicating, because I wouldn't want an accomplished artist making fun of me doodling in boredom. Not that I'd compare my communications skills to a Banksy, but you get what I'm saying.

Here's a perfect example:
Person 1: Wow, you guys are really fast!
Idiot: Yeah, we're pretty organized.
Person 1: Well I've got everything ready for you, so this should be quick. It makes a difference when everyone's got their ducks in a row.
Idiot: Well,...that's kinda the pot calling the kettle black.
Person 1: "Uh....o.......k?"

I guess it comes down to just being you. Don't try to be someone else. When you do, you look silly. A few years ago when my brother was in the service, I went to visit him in Mississippi. I was a fish out of water, but for 4 days, I tried to change to accomodate everyone I was spending time with, including my brother. I realized after a while that I wasn't having fun, I wasn't comfortable, and worst of all, people saw right through the bullshit. Just be real.

I know this might be a weak blog entry, and maybe it's not laced with comedy as much as some would like, but I have zero followers at this point, so all zero of you can kiss my ass. This blog is for me at this point, and being able to get these thoughts out of my mind and out into some kind of "open", it delays the inevitable incident of me blowing my lid by maybe a few weeks.

Be real. It's worth it. You feel better, and people will respect you more. Peace!

Insanity

I'm a people person. I usually don't have any problem getting along with and having a positive relationship with everyone I come into contact with. Well, not everyone. Every once in a while, and by once in a while, I'd say about every 8-10 years, I end up having to socialize or work with someone who has a personality trait that I just can't deal with.

There's a part of me that's insecure and thinks, "What went wrong with me and Person A, and Person B, and person C? I'm the least common denominator, maybe I'm the one with the personality flaw."

There's another part of me that's a narcissistic asshole and says, "I know hundreds of people, if not thousands, and I've only had significant problems with 2 or 3 over my 30 years of life, 15 years of school, and 14 years of work. It's not me, it's them with the issue."

Currently, there's someone in my life that I really can't seem to get along with. Being an upbeat, happy people person, I can't stand when I have to spend time with someone who is the exact opposite of me. The person in particular is argumentative, confrontational, pompous, and worst of all, they're a one-upper. It takes everything I have to get through the day without verbally assaulting this person for how they treat people around them. This person takes every damn opportunity to belittle people, and give them a hard time, and just make things difficult, when in life, it takes a lot more effort to do this than to just be nice and smile and help people out. I really wish I could be more descriptive, and provide examples, but I like my life the way it is, and divulging more information might change it a bit. And I refuse to let a piss ant like the person we're talking about affect my life anymore than they already have.

I'm beginning to realize that this person is taking out their shitty life on everyone around them. When you do the same thing every day, go to the same awful bar every weekend, only have one pathetic hobby, and your life is filled with monotony and boredom, I think you develop a tendency to take it out on those around you that maybe don't mean much to you. When you're required to provide a type of say, customer service, one might develop a passive-aggressive attitude towards those you're supposed to help After all, they're 1-2 minute opportunities to slowly and unnoticeably disseminate your negative energy among the masses the same way a prisoner digging his way out of jail would slowly dump the dug up rocks and dirt through his pant legs on his walks in the prison yard over years and years of digging...and dumping...and digging...and dumping.

Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. I guess when you live a boring life, and life ingrained in a mindless routine, a life where you're expecting a prince charming to emerge out of the same losers you hang out with from the same place you frequent, that's bordering on insanity.

Fortunately, for me, I'm a people person. This is one person of many, and I've learned to deal with it by the art of indifference and the cold shoulder. However, there's a part of me that hopes this person eventually realizes that they need to change it up a bit. Live a little. Visit a new place, meet new people. Maybe treat others with a smile and a greeting instead of with a stare and a pointed question.

The places you go suck.

Many of my friends are quick to post on Facebook where they're at and where they're going. While it's fun to let people know where you're grabbing a bite to eat or where your kid takes tae-kwon-do classes, I should also inform you that the places you go are terrible.

For instance, every time I see someone at the YardHouse after about 8pm, I cringe. Don't get me wrong, I love YardHouse. I just wouldn't be caught in there on a weekend night. I go there for lunch probably 4 or 5 times a year, they have great food, Cherry Wheat on tap, and the service is always really good. At night, it's fucking ridiculous. The last time I was there, it was a fire code violation waiting to happen. There were about 500 too many people in the place. It took about a 15 minutes to get a 24 oz beer that costed 11 dollars. For 11 dollars, I can get 2 six-packs of the same beer across the street from my house. It only takes about 12 minutes to go there and back. Plus, I don't have to wade through the pretentious Ed Hardy wearing geeks who are there to pick up chicks.

There's another place right around the corner from YardHouse that is just as ridiculously packed and stupid, and that's Blue Martini. I've been there once. I spent about 5 minutes there before I realized it wasn't as cool as everyone said it was, and I bounced.

My favorite place to go is the Rumrunner on Tropicana by the Liberace Museum. Sure, it's in a shady part of the Valley, and there might be some insavory characters there, but let me tell you what it has that YardHouse, Blue Martini, Cadillac Ranch, and other stupid upscale bars/restaurants have. Cheap Drinks! You can get one of those big ol' mugs of brew for 3 bucks. A captain and coke is 3.50. Plus, they've got pool tables, shuffleboard, and darts, and I've never waited in line behind a bunch of dorks wearing TapOut basketball jerseys to play any of them. When I go out, I want the best for my buck. I don't want music playing so loud I can't hear myself think. I don't want to be shoulder to shoulder with 80 of my closest friends just to get a drink. I just wanna hang out and relax, conversate, and have a good time. YardHouse isn't a good time.